I remember when life was normal…

When I wasn’t sick
When I had a future so bright
When I loved my job
When I didn’t cry to sleep each night

When I didn’t wake up to a handful of pills
And go to sleep with another
When I had friends who cared
When I was still loved by my father

When going out was fun
When I chose who, when and where
When my highs were high
And I just remained there

When I wasn’t trying to kill myself
By drowning in this self-pity


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  1. Normal? It’s been so long since life was ‘normal’

  2. We have to accept a new normal. That was my old life and this is the new one! No real control over a flare only manage our condition and do the best we can.

  3. Are you really feeling this bad my dear or is it just a thought from someone else? If it is you then I can see you are in a very dark place and I am hurting for you. I will not write anymore on this comment until I hear from you xx

    • Yeah, it was one of those middle of the night, all alone times that just enveloped me.
      I’m okay most of the time.

      • I hope you are more up than down today then my dear as it is all too easy to stay in that downward spiral. I always pretend that I am up even when I am not and have found that that is wrong also because you end up crashing and burning. I so wish we could at least find a happy medium. When you think about it, we have everyday life to contend with as well. I have tried to meditate but cannot for the life of me cut out the outside noise, no matter how small, or unwanted thoughts. I so enjoy reading your posts my love even though I do not always give an opinion. This time however I felt you needed us so here I am. Take care my dear friend, I am always thinking of you, with love, Glynis xx


  5. I’ve been having a rough time of things too. Normal – what is normal? Some days my goal is to get back to my “normal” crappy feeling. The last month, I’ve had minimal energy, minimal initiative. Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s the lack of support and understanding, maybe it’s the continuing appearance of new medical issues. I’d be happy with holding steady for a while, but I know that won’t happen.

    Please talk and share what you are feeling. It’s hard to find someone who will listen, let alone knows where you are coming from.

    • Sometimes it’s just hard to write about what I’m really feeling because then I can’t even hide it from myself – I keep trying the old ‘fake it til you make it’ but it’s all really, really close to the surface!

  6. I’m sorry you’re feeling so awful Simone. It already feels like a long while but it’s now approaching two months since my suicide attempt and hospitalisation. It hurts when we don’t have support from people we love as well and this condition gives way to or contributes to depression. But what else can we do but try? Lots of love and hugs to you and all our other friends who are struggling xxx

  7. I feel just the same at the moment. It is hard! Hope you feel more able to cope soon x

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