Background Check

Welcome!

My name is Simone. I am single, live alone and I have fibromyalgia. I was 40 before I heard about fibromyalgia.

Previously, I had worked in hotels, on cruise ships and in casinos.

Me - prior to breakdown/ depression

Me – prior to breakdown/ depression

Then I spent 6 years working (in the ‘real’ world) and studying (in ‘academia’) to get my law degree. About halfway through my studies, I had (what I call) a major breakdown.

I stopped working – I was broken. No getting out of bed. No getting in the shower. No getting dressed. I was depressed. I had depression. It took about 3 years to swim out of those murky waters (with lots of drugs acting as my life preserver – and definitely no photos from that time!)

With the help of my family, drugs and counselling (& some photo-shopping for wrinkles) - graduation!

With the help of my family, drugs and counselling (& some photo-shopping for wrinkles) – graduation!

For some reason the only thing that kept me going was my studies. Maybe it was the opportunity to start a new life, to get away from shift-work, or to live within the mainstream – but whatever it was, my studies saved me (I was never suicidal. I always thought that it had to get better than THIS otherwise how did other people survive. My psychologist said I was a very positive depressed person!) and I made it through.I was able to ‘practice’ law for one whole month before the debilitating purple wave took over my life – FIBROMYALGIA!

Unlike many, I have NOT learned to manage this condition so I am not working and I spend alot of time on my couch (AND not letting anyone take any photos of me!)

Originally, I just started a Facebook page, then a blog, then I entered the worlds of Twitter and PINTEREST; and, now, I’ve decided to share this time with YOU (who may be a real person or may just be the ‘ether’), on a new website that, I hope, will be useful to any of you.

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the hat-3I used to be a lawyer.
I used to be a student.
I used to be a croupier.
I used to have boundless energy.
I could do anything…
I CAN DO ANYTHING
Fibromyalgia has stolen my old life –
I’m fighting to get it back!

13 Comments

  1. Hello Simone,
    My name is Darla I believe that I have had fibromyalgia since I was a child. When I was 25 my family doctor said I had fibromyalgia, but was not officially diagnosed in 2006, by my rheumatologist, In between 1994 and to present day, I have been diagnosed with 14 different illnesses. All of which are related to the autonomic central nervous system in some way. After surviving fibro and other invisible illnesses, they have had a major impact on how I view life. I can honestly say that I personally would not want my “old” life as mine has had some pretty rough times. I prefer to thank God for the lessons learned, Don’t get me wrong I am not glad to have so many illnesses but since I do, I try to find the positive in everything that affects me. Even though I feel I have managed to live and survive fibro, there have been times when a new symptom would creep up on me and I would have to learn all over again. I like you was a type A personality where I was on the go every day. I rarely sat still. My first diagnosis’s was hypothyroidism, which was in 1994. In 1996 my family dr. diagnosed me with fibromyalgia; however it wasn’t until 2006 that I was diagnosed by my rheumatologist. All in all I have been diagnosed with 14 different illnesses [all are related to the autonomic central nervous system, those things our bodies do and we aren’t aware of it, such as blinking…], and I take a slew of meds. I worked full time up until January of 2012, when I had to face the fact that the only people that were being affected by my illnesses were my students. I just found out last week that I have been approved for disability retirement. This has taken a huge weight off my shoulders since I was the main bread winner in my family. I am working on redefining myself. Unfortunately, I had defined myself as a teacher, even though I am a daughter, wife, mother, and grandmother, not to mention other roles in my life. In a single sentence, hang in there honey, there will be some days you exceed and some that you are lucky to be able to get out of bed….I am glad I found your site…it is important to have others to talk to..
    God Bless
    Darla

    Please visit my blog and on line store! Let me know what you think!

  2. My life was once full of ups and downs, bad times and good, pain and joy
    But nothing has changed my life more then fibromyalgia, where I once ran I walk, The pain has made me take time to relish life, friendships, family. Yes my life a changed but even with the pain, it is better.

    • Hi Kay,
      I’d love to have the mind-set that you have (and sometimes, I do). But, mostly, I’m still at the stage where I just feel loss: most of my ‘friends,’ some of my family and my job.
      BUT I am working on it!

  3. Fibromyalgia has stolen my life. I was a personal trainer, constantly using my body, exercising, teaching others, I loved my job. I’m very angry and feel cheated. I want my old life back.

    • Anger is good! Now use the anger to do something else!

      • Glad to know I have a new home, thanks Simone for sharing. Tired of being sick and tired. I’m ready to kick fibro in the a**. I believe that fb is a disease that is very similar to lupus and ms. I really believe fibrolupusms has better describe my life with days weeks months and if lucky years of remission. Life is what you make it right? #LiveLaughLoveLonger

  4. I know how you feel about fighting to get back your old life, but the truth of the matter is age and fibromyalgia has stolen your old life and you will never get it back or be truly happy unless you embrace what you have left. We all have attributes still that people admire or appreciate. We can’t be so caught up in what we loss that we forget who we really are and what people love about us. 🙂 Have a wonderful day.

  5. Hi Simone, All I can say is that this Fibro has taken away a beautiful lady, but like you say your fighting back, and I’m that with you. I too, had a life, r had just my life back, as until 20th August 2009, I had lived a totally different life, under a very dark cloud. I am a recovering Alcoholic and Addict, have been for 4 1/2 years now. In my first year, there was no stopping me, yes I had Fibro, but I was still me at the time, in my second year, my life started slowing down, right until it stopped and put me in the middle of my living room floor, in pain, not knowing what had kicked me so hard. Yes I’ve had flare up over my life time, but this was different. First they found a brain tumor, which was inoperatable, as it could go very wrong, and I would be like a cabbage, that’s how it was explained to me. Then finally a few months back, I went to see yet another doctor. But was I shocked when we went int the room. The doctor was very friendly, and was going through my notes. Then said, so what we going to do to help you with this ME? I looked at her, then at my partner, then back at the doctor. ‘Excuse me, can you say that again please’. She did, and added I thought you knew, you’ve had all the signs and from when you were a little girl. Hold on a minute, she was reading my mind, something funny was going on here, but what was it?
    We got the mix up sorted out, and then talked, she wasn’t the right doctor that I should be seeing, but told me about another doctor, who works with people like me. So now finally 40 years old and they finally believe that there is something wrong with me, it’s not all in my head, like I had been told by one doctor. Now I’ve meet with the other doctor, who wants me to go into rehab and detox off my medication I am on, and to take other ones. (Crazy). Well I haven’t gone into rehab, but I am detoxing at home, with the help of my partner, and my own GP. Is it easy, it was with one of them, but now the doctor, wants me to come down on another, I have before, but this time, I am not ready, and I am scared.

    • Hi Georgina,

      You’re very brave. I couldn’t do it by myself – I ended up curled up on the couch, crying. So I went into hospital for a ketamine infusion (if you’re interested, type ketamine in the search bar and you’ll be able to read about my experiences).

      So, give it a try – don’t stress about it because, worse case scenario, you’ll go to rehab and be treated well by strangers (spoilt, if you go private!)

  6. I understand anger. I understand loss. I have lost my marriage, my work, my life as well. I also have RA. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after a car wreck -and never completely got better. I blamed my “not feeling right” on many things before I was finally diagnosed, (had it for years before the wreck) I knew something was wrong but was made to feel that I was just whining and needed to suck it up and act normal. I blamed myself for depression I could not admit to having. Years later I still go back and forth between denial, depression, and almost acceptance. I am lucky to have some good days, I live for those days. Other days I spend on the couch in pain. Sometimes I even try to bribe myself into getting moving, inactivity does make it worse, but one wrong active move and I pay for it for days. I am today justifying a couch day with research, I understand RA, but still trying to figure fibro out. I am glad there are others out there who understand.

  7. Hi Simone, It’s Lottie here. You recently featured one of my blog posts on your site (thank you!). You may or may not know that alongside other conditions I have Fibromyalgia, as do my children aged 8 & 10. We have just taken part in a fabulous new film made by my Doctor , Melissa Congdon, who is a leading Fibromyalgia physician mentored by Dr Paul St Amand, both of whom have turned our lives around on the Guaifenesin protocol.

    I’ll be talking about this on my blog soon but I’d love to connect with you about it. The film is so moving and could really change the lives of people living with fibro. My email is Lottie ryan 1 at gmail dot com and I’d be so grateful if you could drop me a line as I can’t see any other way to connect with you on this site.

    Looking forward to speaking with you,

    Lottie -x-

  8. Why is it so hard for doctors to say the words Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia? I knew for years what was wrong with me and it took 20 years after many tests for every medical condition known to man before any diognosis was found. I am very thankfull that I have a very strong makeup and determend to never give in. I pray for the day I wakeup and spend a day free from pain

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