I was reading an article from The Mighty about guilt and chronic illness. You know what I mean…that niggling feeling you have about being sick. No, I’m not going to write about guilt, too (I’ve looked at those thoughts previously, here and here): I’m writing about fear.
Firstly, you need to know a little about my background, so the abridged version:
- I was 40 before I heard about fibromyalgia.
- Previously, I had worked in hotels, on cruise ships and in casinos.
- At 34yo, I started a Bachelor of Laws while working, at the casino, full-time.
- I was able to ‘practice’ law for one whole month before the debilitating purple wave took over my life – FIBROMYALGIA!
I have just celebrated the 25th anniversary of my 21st birthday (yes, I’m 46 now) and, as my ankle and leg get better, I feel like I have a little more control (understanding?) over my illness.
I have been sick (and not working) for 72 times longer than I was actually practicing law. I can truly say that I have forgotten more law than most of you will ever know (you know what I mean!) but I am scared $#!%less – anyone else feel the same? How are you dealing with it?