Tears on My Pillow

 

Ready to cry… or bite some-one’s head off at any moment – flip of a coin will decide which way it falls.

Need to turn off the computer before I respond to some innocuous comment with a tirade. You know, those lovely, well-meaning comments (can I say saccharine sweet? (like early Kylie songs!) – that right now are grating on my nerves):

  • Gratitude is definitely the basis for a positive attitude!
  • I used to have more UNHAPPY days BECAUSE of it. Now, I have more HAPPY days in SPITE OF it.
  • Since we only get to go around one in this life .. I am Determined to make the very BEST of everything .. And to EnJoy as much as possible .. as Often as possible!!
  • Welcome to today everyone!!! It is a new day! A new start! Did you know that you do not have to wait for a new day to have a good day if you are having a bad day?
  • Putting a SMILE on, is NOT about faking it. When I say smile, I mean really ‘smile from the heart’. Make it count, even when you don’t feel like it, do it anyway.

But, if I turn off my computer, I’ll be all alone with the really bad tv shows and the inside of my mind.

Oh…what to do?

 

More Tools to Add to Your Arsenal

Do you have the same thoughts going round and round in your head?

I’m not good enough.

I’ll never be good enough.

Even if I try my hardest, I won’t be good enough!

You’re trying to figure it all out, but you just can’t see a way out of your own head *uck? Here are just 4 tools to add to your arsenal, which will interrupt this cycle, stop the spinning, allow you to catch your breath, and open up to new, exciting possibilities that you haven’t been able to see yet.

1. STOP

Stop everything! EVERYTHING! PAUSE…BREATHE! Allow everything to be exactly as it is, Release all resistance and attachment

Imagine yourself hanging on to whatever you’re holding on to, with your hands, for dear life, with a big black hole beneath you. Now, LET GO and allow yourself to fall, fall down the black hole, keep falling, until you land on a beautiful, soft platform of golden light. The Universe, God, or whatever you might believe in holds you, loves you and supports you. ALLOW IT!

2. FEEL

Breathe…feel your body.

Breathe some more.

Breathe all the way down to your feet. Feel your feet touching the floor, wiggle your toes, push your big toes into the floor. Breathe deeply, sigh or groan as you breathe out. Try this at least 10 times.

What are you actually feeling?

Feel it! Express it! if you need to cry or scream, do it – it will leave you SO much lighter.

3. RELAX

Not necessarily meditation or a formal way of relaxation – I mean do something you LOVE and can fully engage with, which will switch off your mind chatter (it can still be meditation if that is what you love).

4. OPEN

Open up to new possibilities.

Ask questions without having specific answers in mind already, and without wanting them answered immediately. Simply ask and then forget about it. Allow space after the question, to free yourself from intellectualising it, and rather to be free to receive the answers when they come.

Questions like:

    • What else is possible?
    • What would the energy of my life be like, if I was living it for the joy of it?
    • How could this situation be even better?

Fibro Fog – Feels Like Early Dementia

Having trouble explaining Fibro Fog to some-one else – or they just don’t believe you?
Sometimes all it takes is another person to describe it:

Hypervigilant for Another Reason?

A couple of months ago, I re-blogged a post about Misophonia – a term used to describe the severe reaction that some people have to sounds. Many of us associated with this condition. I am sorry to say that a recent study (published 11 April 2012) did not provide evidence for a behavioural or neuronal manifestation of hypervigilance in patients with FM.

As hypervigilance, as an abnormal increase of attention to external stimuli, has been implicated in chronic pain states, the researchers assumed both attentional performance and pain-induced gamma oscillations to be altered in patients with FM.

The study recorded electroencephalography from ‘normals’ and FM sufferers during an attention demanding visual reaction time task. In 50% of the trials, painful laser stimuli were also applied. The results of self-assessment questionnaires confirm that patients with FM consider themselves hypervigilant towards pain as compared to ‘normals’. However, the experimental findings indicated that the effects of painful stimuli on attentional performance and neuronal gamma oscillations did not differ between both groups.

Yes, there was a significant correlation between the pain-induced modulation of visual gamma oscillations and the pain-induced modulation of reaction times; however, this relationship did not differ between groups either. These findings confirm a close relationship between gamma oscillations and the variable attentional effects of pain, which appear to be comparable in health and disease.

So, still no new answers.

A Cure for Fibro Fog

Don’t get too excited! It’s not really a cure (but I got your attention!). It’s more like a band-aid solution that I am using – to stop forgetting things at home.

One of these is a cheque to be delivered to my GP tomorrow when I go to my acupuncturist – something I would probably forget in my haste to leave the house and get to my appointment; another is a cheque to go to my rheumatologist, which is where I am going after shopping at Target – so I know I’ll forget that one; and the last is a letter for my optometrist, which I have to fit in some time tomorrow – so that’s another one that would probably be left behind.

I hit my head on these as I go to my front door. And they are still in a safe place – just not one of THOSE places where I’ll forget them.

For the Love of…Writing

The art of writing is being lost. Perhaps the most significant sign of this is that, for the first time in 35 years, the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction was not awarded.

I am not talking about the act of physically putting pen to paper but, rather, the expression of one’s thoughts, feelings and experiences. This art, like law, is something to be practiced, never to be perfected.

I preface this post by not professing to be a master of the art. I am merely a great aficionado. I love to read (although my ability to concentrate on extended pieces of prose has diminished in direct proportion to the period of time that I have had fibromyalgia). But, I had forgotten that I also love to write. I loved to write fully referenced and foot-noted essays of law directed at academia. AND I also love to write this blog. Perhaps I simply love to write for a specific audience.

I always attempt to ensure that my syntax and spelling are correct; I try to make sure that my writing is easy to follow (except when I am trying to give you a perverse glimpse at the internal workings of my mind – then you gets whatever happens!); and, mostly, I try to keep to the topic (that one doesn’t always happen, either!)

I may be showing my pre-technology age when I say that I cannot stand reading pieces with lazy abbreviations, for example: 2 instead of to or too; U instead of you; da instead of the (although, having recently joined TWITTER, I can vaguely understand it – all posts must be under 140 characters long); or too many spelling mistakes; or, especially, the mis-use of homophones (that’s a new word for me, too – a word that is pronounced the same as another word but differs in meaning).

For us, FibroMAGICians (this is my new word), writing is a blessing.

  • Writing allows us/me to express what is going on in our heads. If I need to search for a word, because it is lost in the eerie recesses of my addled mind, I can use the thesaurus or, better yet, I can leave it out until I remember later (ummm…if I remember to return!)
  • I can choose the audience for whom I am writing (at least when I first started. Now, I ‘know’ some of you and, although it may not always seem like it, I try to write so that YOU can understand and/or enjoy what I write).
  • I can write about anything – it is not often that I am given an opportunity to discuss ‘poo’-ing and sex positions in the same place.
  • I can edit what I have written at a later stage. This medium allows me to re-read what I have written, omit parts that are REALLY boring and insert the stuff that I forgot.

Can you think of a better place for a FibroMAGICian to dwell?
Glitter Photos
[Glitterfy.com – *Glitter Photos*]