Firstly, some facts (this is not me feeling sorry for myself, just facts):
- I am single (read divorced and/or friendless depending on your situation)
- I am sick (with no cure on the immediate horizon)
- I have only one friend who actually visits with me
- I have no particular interests outside my home
So, I was thinking, is this my lot in life forever? Will I ever meet a prospective partner? How will I meet a prospective partner? Does he deserve a partner who is continually unable to meet her responsibilities? Okay, forget a partner, how about some new friends?
These questions sent my mind racing – I can’t drive more than about 10 kilometres before my arms, shoulders and head start to hurt; I can’t go to parties (even if I was invited) because the noise and other distractions are too much for me to handle; there are no clubs or groups in my area that I wish to join. So, what is a FM sufferer to do?
Why, take to the internet, of course! ‘How to meet new people’ was my search term:
Succeed Socially.com offered a list of places to meet people
Through your friends, significant other, and other people you already know
This point obviously will not work for one in my situation
I am still unable to work
As I am unable to be reliable in a work situation, I am unable to commit to volunteering. I used to volunteer regularly at a local legal centre – it was incredibly satisfying and I miss being able to help others.
I go to my self-help hydro groups, where the closest person in age to myself is about 25 years older than me. They are a lovely group at Hydro but I doubt greatly that we have very much in common outside being ill and/or disabled.
A club or organization
The appeal here is obvious. You join up and you instantly know a group of people who share a similar interest to yours. But what happens if you no longer have any interests? Other than researching fibromyalgia, spreading awareness about fibromyalgia and raising funds for fibromyalgia research. Kind of sounds like I should join or start my own fibromyalgia support group, right? But, with this type of group, it would probably take all our efforts just to turn up to meetings, let alone maintain friendships outside the group.
A sports team or league
Are you kidding?
Through your religion
I am not religious. I believe in a higher being but I do not know of a public denomination which shares these same values.
Through your kids
Another moot point for me
Your living situation
Living in a large building with lots of other people your age around is better than being in a small place with no one who’s similar to you. Guess what my situation is? I live in a block of units (alone) where, currently, there is no-one with any similarities to me at all. How can this happen? (rhetorical question!)
No real help there, although my grandfather (before he died) tried to set me up with a 71-year-old ex-doctor.
At a party
Too much noise, too many people, just TOO!
An individual sport
How many FM sufferers do you know who do a sport? And I’m not one of them.
SWF in chronic pain, with control freak tendencies, seeking understanding, compassionate friends with low expectations.
Would any of you answer that one?
There were a number of other suggestions but you get the idea…so, tell me, fibroMAGICians, what do you do?
- Coping With Friendlessness (thewaveofthoughts.com)
- Poem about being a loner II (grannyslittleprojects.wordpress.com)