You may have noticed that I’ve been feeling like crap…
Yesterday (and I didn’t want to tell you about yesterday because it was SO bad that I didn’t want to write it down), my mommy turns up and I’m still in bed – it’s 11am. I had been dozing in and out of sleep for about 6 hours, trying to find a comfortable position. She was just picking something up.
At 2.30, Mommy comes back to drive me to self-help hydro. I’m too tired to walk there but I refuse not to go. The warm water and stretching makes me feel better…normally! Yesterday, I was exercising in molasses. I couldn’t move. Every stretch I did felt awful and hurt. Why wasn’t this feeling like normal? Thank God, Mommy was picking me up after the class, too.
She found me sitting on the nature strip, crying. No special reason – I’m just SO tired! And it’s not getting better (and tears are coming to my eyes just writing about it).
I lay on the couch waiting until bedtime.
In bed, everything hurt, too. I wrapped my ankles and wrists in my doona to try to warm them up and comfort them; I stuck them under my body; I lay like a starfish – I tried everything and nothing was helping. I just want to go to sleep so I can wake up tomorrow and feel better…But what if tomorrow isn’t better? Then I would wait to go to sleep again so I could wake up the next day…etc. STOP! I could live my whole life in one night, thinking about this…
Needless to say, I had a horrible night’s sleep.
So, we get to today – I check my emails, my FaceBook page then my tummy starts grumbling. I put the toast in the toaster and get my drugs.
What day is it today? Oh shit! (sort of, because now I know why) I forgot to take my drugs yesterday! That’s the anti-depressant, the Lyrica, Vitamin D, thyroid medication and extra feel good supplements.
No wonder I felt like shit!
Here’s something I refuse to put on Facebook (but how do I stop that permanent link?). It’s honest, candid, frank, and not ‘in mixed company’ conversation, but:
I hurt when I have a poo (that’s the technical term!)*. It feels like my insides are being dragged out with the waste.
And I have SO much trouble wiping myself (hurts my hands, difficult to move that way, etc).
* Did you know if you try to look up POO or SHIT or BOWEL MOVEMENT in the Microsoft Word thesaurus, there are no results found.